Ex’s Birthday is Today

Normally I would not care, but this was the ex that was really good to me and that we actually broke off in a really vague and ambiguous way (with like an unspoken promise between us for him or me to finish college first before being together). And he’s almost done with uni, and now this is getting really awkward and bittersweet because seriously, he was the best boyfriend I ever had, not gonna lie. We communicated easily about any topic which is why we were so good together, ohmyfucking, don’t you come back into my life again Bryan, my body is not ready for remembering you okay, I have to save myself for that jerkhole still stuck in Germany.

You could’ve said a word, but you turned away. Why do you always act such a passive way? Now, don’t you ever think that I would suck up to you…but, I still believe in you.

Feelings, can you not. Also time, can you hurry up faster—one, I want to eat food and two, I want summer 2014 to get here already okay, god can it JUST asdfdghjhddfghjsd keysmash all the things, I am so frustrated, with an emphasis on the F, gdfghajgjkahdgkahjg.

Everyone likes lists. I’ll make a list of things about you. Maybe then I can find some sense in these feelings I have for you.

Pros:

• Soft, fluffy, dark blonde hair
• Intense, pretty verdant eyes
• Nice voice
• Nice laugh
• Glorious typos
• Brit-German English accent
• Rosy cheeks and blushes so hard like an adorable motherfuck
• 6’2, son you tall as fuck, that’s hot
• Smell like apples
• Funny and hilarious
• Can keep a conversation going.
• Gamer
• Smart
• Knows the line between “playful” jerk and legit fuckwit jerk and doesn’t cross it
• Playful
• Doesn’t smoke or drink

Cons:

• Immature sometimes
• A bit racist
• Plays with feelings
• Smart but LAZY
• Take a fucking shower every day son, even when you don’t go anywhere

If there’s one spark of hope left in my grasp—I’ll hold it with both hands. It’s worth the risk of burning to have a second chance.

“To love is to be vulnerable.”

It couldn’t be more true. I…I don’t regret falling for you.

I don’t understand why I fell so fast and so hard—if a person got to know you, you’re honestly not that great of a person, You can be very cruel and very immature. But even so, I still fell for you because love is unpredictable.

I never lied or hid anything to you. I tried to do whatever I could to make you happy. I never asked for anything in return simply because hearing your voice and spending time with you made me happy enough.

It started out well, but then you started ignoring me. I thought something was wrong so I apologized, and we became friends again. Apparently you were just testing me. Personally, I always thought testing and playing with a person’s feelings is a really cruel thing to do, but I let it go because it’s you, But this time, you ignore me again, and I don’t even know why—you won’t even tell me. How am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you won’t even tell me what I did? I’ve been good all this time, what did I possibly do to offend you again?

Like I always repeatedly told you—I don’t lie to you, and I cannot hide things no matter how hard I try because that’s how much I care for you. So is it too much to ask for you to return the favor even just by a little bit? Just by one sentence, to tell me what’s wrong? I guess it might be for you.

No, I haven’t given up on you. I want to, but, somehow I still cling to the hope, no matter how much it’s waning.

But if you really are displeased with me for any reason..I’m sorry, and I’m apologize for not being good enough for you. I’ll just try harder next time around maybe if I fall for someone else.

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The food replacements make me feel so bloated and nauseous.

Aghhhh, seriously  mang, you better not fail your classes next year and get here on time or all this pain is for jack shit

Okay why is my dash filled with Teen Titans Go Bashing/Defending? Can ya’ll calm your tits, I mean, let people mad at it stay mad and just laugh at them being upset instead of raging like a lunatic, idek why do I even bother to check in tumblr anymore oh right, homestuck.

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You make me feel happy. Just hearing you makes me perk up instantly. I want to know more about you. I want to see you smile. I want to hear you laugh. I want to chill at the beach with you on a sunset with a fucking laptop open like you said you wanted to do. Who brings a fucking laptop to a beach. You fucking would. Your quirks are endearing. Get back here sooner. Please. I’m starting to become a butterfly so quickly, and it’s all because you’re my motivation. These mushy feelings are homo. This is your fault. I hate you. And I oppositely hate you. I strongly neutral you. What the fuck am I saying. Lucy go to sleep, you are drunk.

alfred-for-president:

words cannot describe how much I love the dialogue in homestuck

This is why I’m not listening to anyone who thinks Homestuck sucks.

(Source: walwart-wagabo)

Sometimes I have to remind myself that this beautiful, green-blue eyed, dark golden-blonde, fabulous soft-haired gamer cutie with a nice voice is mine, and then I feel better again.